Romans 8:15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery
to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as
sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”
Falling back into fear- yuck. That does not sound like a
place we want to be. Fear takes hold and enslaves us. Anxiety disorders are the
number one most often diagnosed mental illness in the US. Even those of us not
diagnosed with anxiety disorders can find that anxiety debilitates us. We fear
failure, we fear loss, we fear our past coming to find us, we fear for our
children and family members, we fear the disintegration of society, we fear for
our health, we could go on and on and on. Fear is so much a part of our
response in this world that it seems normal. Many people have no idea how they
would live without fear and worry. This is a picture spirit of slavery that
Paul writes about.
How does fear affect our marriages? It pulls us apart. It
makes us feel isolated, we turn to blame and accusations. We feel unheard
because our spouse isn’t responding with worry and fear over the same things,
or in the same way, that we are. Everything feels out of control when fear
reigns in our hearts.
But Paul shares with us the gift we have in Christ. Not only
are we, in reality, truly and absolutely freed from all fear and anxiety by the
cross of Christ and the waters of baptism. Christ bears every single burden in
his person for us. He will never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). Paul has
also given us an invitation. In times of fear and trepidation we can cry out to
the Father who loves us beyond measure. As a couple we can cry out, “Father,
help!” We come to Him together in prayer and studying His Word. It changes
things. Worry and fear come and go, but Christ reigns.
As a couple, bring your fears to Him in the presence of one
another. Be honest and bear each other’s burdens, giving them to the God who
already carries them for you.