My sweet Zeke. Precious child of God. He was born 3 weeks early on the night of a voter's meeting. I didn't bother to tell my husband I was in labor until midnight…why add to his burden? I'm sure someone can relate.
But oh, the sweetness. When he's happy, you can't even imagine how happy. He regales us with his funny matter-of-fact stories, he loves lions and Papa and skipped the Duplo stage and went straight to engineering Legos early on.
I always had this deep fear of autism as a young parent. My generation is probably the one made fully aware of autism from the first moment of parenting. I got the message loud and clear that it was painful, difficult, unknown, and a struggle. I thought that with it my child wouldn't touch me, laugh with me, look at me. I had built misconceptions all up in my mind that fed a fear leaving me praying- "anything but that, Lord. Anything but that…"
And then it came to our house.
By the time Zeke got his diagnosis of Spectrum (Zeke's form is what they formerly used to call Aspberger's), I felt freed by it. Here was my beautiful child, a gift from above, with all his quirks, precious to me. It wasn't anything like I feared. God gave him to me as a gift. What Satan tormented me with in fear, God made beautiful daily. With Zeke's diagnosis I can begin to help people understand him and his way of processing the world. I deeply believe Zeke's way of seeing the world can teach us so much, if we only take the time to see it.
And isn't that the way God is. He takes the very thing we feared, the very thing that poked at us and crumpled our hearts, and uses them to take fear from us, to wash the anxiety and build our trust in Him.
God is using Zeke's testimony already. God has a plan and a purpose, not only for Zeke, but for autistic Zeke, for Zeke's challenges and his gifts.
Our church is a different place with a little boy who can't sit in a pew, but prefers to lay in the aisle. Our church is a different place because getting a "hi" from Zeke is something special and you have to work for it a bit. It's difficult some days, but I'm reminded that other kids and other parents can be encouraged in knowing we all struggle in the world. Zeke's struggle simply now has a name.
May our churches flourish with these little gifts. Gifts that remind us that God made us all a little bit different, and what God made is always good. May we lift up the differences, celebrate them, and love them in a way that shouts to the world- This is Christ, alive and well, people!
Through a little boy…praising the Lord, in His own way.
This is a great story Heather, and I relate in many ways!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it amazing how God uses the things the world hates (and the things our sinful natures also want ot avoid) to teach us more of his love, to make our hearts bigger?!
What a great post! Thank GOd for wonderful little Zeke!
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